


Causality

by halliver



Category: Tenet (2020)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dialogue Heavy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:29:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halliver/pseuds/halliver
Summary: From Neil’s perspective, it was their second mission together. From the Protagonist’s, third. A small but extremely significant difference.
Relationships: Neil/The Protagonist (Tenet)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 107





	Causality

**Author's Note:**

> For this the purposes of this fic, I've assumed that after the events of the movie, the Protagonist inverted himself several years into past, and started to build Tenet and recruit agents there.

The sun wouldn’t rise in Copenhagen for another hour. As usually, David had only a place and a time, no idea of who he was meeting and only a slight idea of what his mission would be. The place was a sweet little café by the harbour, and the time was close, so David sat down, ordered a cup of coffee and scanned the room with his eyes. No sign of his contact, yet. _Hopefully they’re not late. I don’t really have the patience now for…_ His grumpy thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, and a painfully familiar man stepping in. _Oh no. Not again. I was hoping for an easy mission. I can’t do this now._

Neil spotted him, smiled, waived, took off his coat and sat down opposite to David. He was wearing a wrinkly, grey suit and an equally messy green shirt underneath. He had an odd floral-patterned scarf wrapped around his neck, and David could barely stop himself from laughing. _Good to see that your taste in fashion has always been as questionable._

“Hello, boss. Didn’t expect to see you here. I assume you are…”

He stopped mid-sentence, as the waiter, an old, sweet woman approached their table.  
“Good morning. What would you like? Drinks, something to eat?”

“Hello, umm, black tea, please. Darjeeling, if you have.”

David followed the waiter with his eyes, and then returned his gaze to Neil. “Yes, I am your contact. And partner for this mission. There is a device to be delivered, from here to Italy. A rather important device.”

Neil raised his eyebrow. “Has to be, if it needs two agents to escort it.”

David nodded. “I do not know the exact nature of our payload, but what I do know, that it is a dangerous, but possibly useful device.”

Neil opened his mouth to say something, but then decided against it.

“What is it, Neil?”

“I was just wondering, if something will happen to the device. Because why would you be there, if it’s nothing? If I should prepare for…”

“You should always prepare for trouble in this line of business. I don’t know what will happen. Don’t think about it too much. Be ready, but keep your mind open. I’m afraid that’s all I can tell you, as it is all I know.”

Neil nodded, and the waiter brought him his tea. He took a sip and leaned back in his chair. “So, what’s new?”

“Excuse me?

“How are you? It’s been a while since we last met.”

Neil’s friendly small talk shouldn’t have caught him by surprise, but it did. Before finding Neil for his first time, David had decided to keep his distance. No use in getting attached – _any more attached –_ to a dead man, no use in breaking his heart even more. David was not a rude person, but he was convinced that for the greater good, he could be a total dick.

Then, he had met Neil. Young, curious, alive. His resolve had melted as soon as he saw Neil smile for the first time. _What’s happened, happened._ He had repeated to himself, a mantra that rang in his head almost daily, always in Neil’s voice. Another voice had joined, Neil’s as well. _For me, this is an end of a beautiful friendship._ David had felt a bang of guilt. _Who am I to deny him his past, his future, his happy memories? Breaking his heart now won’t bring him back to life in the future._

So, instead of telling Neil to mind his own business, David took a sip from his coffee, and told him the useless details of his past few months. Then, he carefully put down his cup, and asked: “How about you, then? I see you’ve cut your hair.”

Neil ran his hand over the stubble of his blonde hair. “Yeah, I’ve been busy with the training. A bit too busy for haircare, so one evening, Ives and clippers happened. Anything for a bit more time for sleeping. Commander Nieminen really means business.”

David was still not used to how hard it was talking to him without giving too much away. Thoughts ran through his head, and he had to concentrate to keep them to himself.

_Right. He’s training with Ives. Didn’t realize. Should have realized._

_He looks so different without hair._

_I didn’t meet Nieminen in future, does that mean that she won’t make it that far?_

_I miss his long hair._

_Or I maybe I don’t. Maybe I just miss him._

_How can I tell him how much I miss him?_

He knew he couldn’t, so he settled for: “I can imagine. That’s why I hired her.” 

\---

They left the café and grabbed the device from a rather shady back alley. As expected, there was opposition. _Sator’s men? Probably._ Nothing too overwhelming, and David felt the anxiety in his chest ease a little. He watched Neil take down the enemies heading his way with ease. The uncertainty that had plagued his movement on their first mission, _second mission, don’t think about it,_ was gone. _Commander Nieminen truly knows what she’s doing._ His own doubts found him again. _He’s come a long way from the student I recruited in London. In good and in bad. It can’t be right, can it? What am I turning him into?_

“Ready?” Neil’s almost cheery voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Yes. Let’s go. Want to drive?” David tossed the keys towards Neil, who grabbed them with ease.

“Always.”

The car was a couple of years old Volvo, nothing too fancy, nothing that would attract unwanted attention, but comfortable enough for their long journey. Neil sat in the driver’s seat, adjusted his seatbelt and switched the gear to reverse. “Road trip time.”

\---

To avoid taking a ferry and getting caught in a confined space, they took the long route out of Denmark. Wise decision, it turned out, as they heard the reporter in the radio describe an armed conflict in the harbour of Rostock. It took them a bit over three hours to get to the border of Germany. There was no border control, just a sign that said “Bundesrepublik Deutschland”. David felt an intense gratitude for the Schengen Agreement, he really wasn’t in the mood of explaining why they had a radioactive container in their trunk.

For the first hour or so, Neil had tried to spark up a conversation, but as David’s answers had rarely consisted of more than a couple of syllables, he had given up and decided to focus on the road and his own thoughts. He tapped the steering wheel with his fingers, hummed under his breath.

“There’s a town ahead. I could use another cup of coffee”, David said. _See, Neil? I’m not an insensitive dick or avoiding a conversation with you. Just tired, okay?_

“Sure.” Neil flicked the turn signal. “To-go? It’s a long ride, and I’m sure you have better things to do than sit in a car with me.”

“Not really, I enjoy the company.”

Neil chuckled. “Big fan of comfortable silence, then?”

David couldn’t help but smile, accidentally a big wide smile. “I think I am.”

\---

Fifteen minutes later, they were back on the road.

“You know, I’ve tried to cut off coffee. Replace it with tea”, Neil said, taking a sip from his ridiculously large cup.

“And how’s that working out for you?”

“Excellently. This is only my third cup today.”

David huffed, stirred his own coffee and watched how the sugar dissolved into the hot drink.

Neil put down his coffee and continued to fidget with his fingers. “I just realized that I don’t really know anything about you.”

“No, you don’t.” _Don’t worry, I think you will._

“So, where are you from?”

“States.”

Neil snorted. “That much is obvious from the accent.”

“Rest is classified, I’m afraid”, David said and turned his gaze back to his coffee, just slowly enough to see Neil rolling his eyes.

“Okay then, Mr. Mysterious. Where did you learn to be that secretive? CIA?” Before David had the chance to answer, Neil continued: “Yes. I know. Classified. How about, I don’t know, what kind of music do you like? Do you prefer cats or dogs? What’s your favourite colour?”

“You ask too many questions, you know.”

“Why hire a scientist if you want no questions asked? Curiosity is what we do.”

“Curiosity about work acquaintances, whom you should never get to know, or get attached to? Weird science. Risky science. Attachments are dangerous in our line of business, Neil.”

Neil blinked, taken aback by the harshness of David’s words. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just… I died in London, remember? I can’t exactly call my old friends when I feel like talking to someone.”

_Great job breaking it, hero. Idiot. What happened to the “do not break his heart”-part?_ “No, I am sorry. My rudeness was uncalled for.”

“It’s fine.”

“Neil...”

“I get it. I’m sorry.”

Neil leaned forwards in his seat, hands gripping to the wheel, knuckles white.

“Jazz and rock, dogs, greenish blue.”

Neil’s grip loosened.

“I like cats.”

\---

“So, I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?”

“You, mostly.”

“I’m flattered?”

Neil laughed, and winked. “No need to get excited yet. I’ve been wondering about how you found me. And recruited me. Just like that.”

David turned his face away, pretending to observe the cars passing by. “Like I told you. We keep an eye out for talent. Your research regarding entropy was of interest to us. Besides, couldn’t take the risk that you would figure inversion out by yourself.”

“Seriously, boss?” Neil shook his head. “There are dozens, if not hundreds of professors and doctors researching the same theme, people much smarter and more experienced than me, and you are worrying about one dumb doctoral student?”

“You are far from dumb.”

Neil tried, rather unsuccessfully, to stop himself from rolling his eyes again. “Right then, you saw my raw and unappreciated genius. But why…”

David cut off his sentence. “Exactly. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“But why did you hire me as a field agent, not a researcher? And when you came to meet me, you went straight to the point, you didn’t try to interview me, you didn’t even try to find out what kind of psychopath I am. Why?”

“Why does it matter to you so much? Our intel tends to be excellent. A decision to hire you was made. We hired you. Now you are here.”

“Do you want to know what I think?”

“I have the feeling that you are going to tell me anyways.”

Neil’s eyes darted between the road and David. “You knew me, didn’t you? In my future, your past. At some point, you met me, and that’s how you knew to trust me. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.”

David bit his lip. _Fuck, Neil. Did you really have to?_ He gathered his thoughts, and answered carefully, voice betraying no emotion. “Ignorance is our ammunition.”

“Hmm.” Neil’s voice didn’t sound like he was going to give up anytime soon.

“You are not entirely wrong.” _You are completely right, you fucker._

“Hmm.” Neil repeated. “Bit of paradox, isn’t it? You recruit me because you trust me, and you trust me because you recruited me. There’s really no cause or effect there, just a circle.”

“Get used to it, Neil. When time travel is involved, things are bound to get confusing.”

“So, you know who I will become? What will happen to me? A fascinating thought. A little frightening.” Neil tapped his fingers against the wheel, wondering the possibilities of their non-linear relationship.

“I do, or at least, a part of it.” Against his better judgement, David continued. “It is what worries me, to be honest. I want you to become your own person on your own, I don’t want to groom you into becoming the person you are in my head.”

“Hmm.”

_Stop with the “hmm”, Neil. I need to know what you are thinking._

Oppressive silence filled the car.

Then, Neil decided to break it.

“ _Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect in the history of the Universe say that this sort of thing is going on all the time, but that we are powerless to prevent it. 'It's just life,' they say.”_

“Quoting philosophers, now?” David asked, little confused with Neil’s choice of words.

“Quoting Douglas Adams”, Neil laughed. “The more time I spend with Tenet, the more accurate his literature feels.”

“So, what are you saying? That you are who you are regardless of what I say, or that what I say is because of who you are?”

“A more poetic soul might call it fate.”

As much as it hurt David, he couldn’t help but ask: “What do you call it?”

Neil smiled and adjusted his grip on the wheel. “Reality, I guess?”

_Yeah. Reality._

_\---_

After watching Neil yawn for an hour or so, David had insisted to drive for a change. Neil had frowned, but eventually accepted the offer. As soon as they had switched seats, Neil had fallen asleep, head against the window, tucked under his jacket.

David glanced at Neil. _Eyes on the road,_ he scolded himself. _This is why I should always leave the driving to Neil._ His thoughts, however, kept wandering. _I didn’t know he liked cats._ _I still don’t know his favourite colour. Nor what kind of music he likes._

_I don’t know him. Not really. I just know how he dies._

The realization dawned on him, first bringing him sorrow, then relief.

_Maybe we could still get know each other. At equal ground. Almost._

The ever so familiar guilt lifted its ugly head. _I recruited him, because he will save the universe. Not because I pine after him._ He was not entirely sure if even he believes himself. _I have no right to assume anything from him._

David’s eyes wandered off the road again, into Neil’s face. His brows were furrowed, and he was squeezing himself, as if to make himself seem as small as possible. Clearly dreaming. Clearly not a happy dream. David considered waking him up, but eventually, decided against it. _He needs the sleep._

\---

David leaned on the hood of their car, watching the sun rise on rural Italy. Neil stepped out of the car. He stretched his sore muscles and yawned.

“Morning”, David said and offered him a cup filled with coffee.

“Morning”, Neil answered. He took a sip, then frowned and took a closer look at the cup he was holding. “McDonald’s? Seriously?”

“Drive through coffee. Delightfully disgusting, isn’t it?”

“Disgusting, at least.” Despite his words, Neil continued to chuck down the coffee at a respectable pace.

“Couldn’t leave you in the car alone. You slept so heavily that anyone could have taken the device or the car or _you,_ and you probably wouldn’t have even stirred.”

“Sorry about that. I sleep a lot. Bit of a weakness of mine.”

“It’s fine.”

_I didn’t know that, either._

Neil lifted his hand to shade his eyes from the sun. “You know, I don’t think you ever told me your name.”

“I did. It’s the Protagonist.”

“I don’t hear you calling me the Sidekick, so I doubt it counts.”

“You’re far more important than a sidekick, Neil.” David regretted his words as soon as they escaped his mouth. _Shut up, idiot. Standard operating procedure, remember?_ Even while scolding himself, he could help but notice how Neil blushed slightly.

“Don’t worry, Neil. You’ll find out. Eventually.”

\---

They arrived in Naples at noon. Neil found a parking spot near their destination, and David grabbed the device. The Tenet base was a new and shiny, but well hidden under a dusty outer layer. David tapped a code into a numpad hidden behind a rusty steel plate, and a door slid open. They stepped into a futuristic, clean, and ominously empty lobby.

“I thought you said this base was active”, Neil whispered, his hand moving towards the holster on his belt.

“It should have been.” The briefcase in David’s hand felt suddenly heavier than lead. His eyes darted across the room, looking for sings of life, or trouble. He noticed Neil waving his hand, gesturing towards the receptionist’s desk. David took a few careful steps forwards. He peeked behind the desk. On the floor, there was a body of a middle-aged guard, obviously a Tenet officer. His chest was filled with bullet holes. His hand was curled around a radio. David wondered if he had had time to get the message through.

“Should we leave?” Neil mouthed, glancing meaningfully towards the device.

Before David had the time to even consider an answer, three things happened almost simultaneously. First, Neil screamed from the top of his lungs, an odd amalgamation of “watch out”, “boss”, and “gun”. Second, David felt the ground approaching him at an alarming speed, as Neil pushed him down with all the strength in his body, pulling him behind the desk. Third, a gunshot.

David drew his weapon and aimed. With a well-placed shot, the assailant fell. David grabbed the radio from the hand of the guard and muttered a code into the communicator. As the last number escaped his lips, the lobby was already filled with Tenet operatives, guns drawn, inspecting every corner of the building.

“Thank you, Neil. Less than a second later and it would have really hurt.” David put down his gun and wiped a drop of sweat off his forehead.

“Neil?”

He turned his head.

“Neil?”

Neil was slumped on the floor, lying still in the spot he fell after the shot. His eyes were blinking rapidly. There was a confused expression on his face. Blood on his grey suit, on his hands, on the floor. Everywhere.

_He’s going to die._

_Not yet. Not again. No._

_He can’t?_

_He won’t._

David dropped down and started to desperately search for the source of all that blood. His fingers found the entrance wound just under his ribs. He pressed the wound, tried to stop the bleeding, but all he managed to accomplish was a string of broken whimpers from Neil’s lips, until he finally passed out.

David yelled for medic, and Tenet operatives surrounded them.

\---

They brought Neil to the second-floor medical facility, accompanied by soldiers tasked to ensure the building’s safety. David was unceremoniously showed aside as the medical team started working on Neil, cutting off his shirt, hooking him up on machines and IVs. Feeling of helplessness washed over him, while he struggled to keep his expression on check. David had made clear on multiple occasions that he valued the lives of his underlings, but still, showing signs of panic over a single agent would most likely be deemed excessive, and potentially suspicious.

He stepped out of the med bay, leaving the doctors to their work.

“Sir?”

David turned sharply to face the strict-looking woman in her forties standing next to him.

“Yes?”

“I was told to secure the package you were carrying.” She handed David a document detailing her orders, clearly written by him, somewhere in the future. The document was addressed to the head of the Naples base, someone he would without a doubt recruit with careful consideration.

“I take it you are agent Costa?”

“Yes, Sir.”

David handed the document back to her. “How are you people, agent? Were there many casualties?”

“Some, Sir. We were ordered to evacuate the building almost in time. However, serious conversation about the safety of this base should be arranged.”

David felt the silent rage boiling inside the woman. She was not happy that her underlings had been harmed, and David felt deep sympathy for her. “Of course. I’ll make sure the HQ will give you sufficient support for the process.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Costa waived her had in the direction of the med-bay. “I’ll see to it that you will be informed of the status of your agent. Meanwhile, do you require medical attention? Forgive me, but I would assume that at least a check-up would be in order.”

David nodded. “Thank you. I’ll make sure to get one.”

\---

Costa was a woman of her words, and almost seven hours later, he was informed that Neil was out of surgery, and would live. That he had lost a lot of blood, that the damage had been rather extensive, that he would most likely need months to recover, but he would live. He asked to see Neil, anxious to make sure that he was actually alive. Reluctantly, the doctor agreed.

Neil was lying on a bed, still hooked on a ventilator. His chest was wrapped in bandages and tubes ran in and out of his body. The hissing of the ventilator and beeping of the heart monitor broke the silence of the room.

“When will he wake up?”

“When he’s ready to. Most likely in a couple of hours, but there’s really no way of knowing for sure.”

“Let me know when he does.”

\---

It took him two days to open his eyes, and one more to stay awake for more than a minute or two. _You really do sleep a lot,_ David wondered as he finally made his way to Neil’s room.

“Boss! Good to see you”, Neil giggled, as if David stepping in the room was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

“Enjoying your pain medication thoroughly, I see.”

“Yup. Who knew that getting shot hurts?” 

“Could have told you that. You didn’t have to go experience it first-hand.”

Another giggle. “Apparently, it didn’t hit anything important, so everything went pretty well, in my opinion.”

David sat down on the side of Neil’s bed. “Neil, you almost bled out on the operating table. They had to remove your entire kidney. It’s not okay.”

“I mean, I still have the other one?”

David considered arguing, but decided that his arguments might be better received when there was less morphine involved. Instead, he took Neil’s hand in his own. “You saved my life, Neil. Thank you.” _Again._

“Oh. You’re welcome? Not a big deal, you know. Anything for you.”

Neil stared at David, eyes foggy but the smile on his face genuine. “Anything for you”, he repeated, before drifting back into sleep.

David closed his eyes, a single tear escaping to his cheek. _Anything for you._

**Author's Note:**

> Good news, I still am filled with feelings about Tenet. 
> 
> If you want to yell at me about Tenet or something, you can find me in tumblr @kristalliankka.
> 
> As always, sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language.  
> Thank you for reading :)


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